1. Identify the minimal exposition you need the audience to know - Bob and Hope have been friends for 14 years.
2. Identify what Bob wants from Hope - He wants Hope to pretend to be his fiancee at his brother's wedding.
3. Ask yourself "How could Bob use this information as a weapon to manipulate Hope?" - Gilt.
Now, rewrite the dialogue.
BOB: What? You are telling me that after fourteen years of being your excuse to get out of whatever boring date or office party, or S.A.T. test that now you can't fib your way through a three-course meal?
HOPE: Fine! Alright. But no kissing.
Much better. Now your reader won't want to burn your script. =D
Want more? Check out SCREENWRITING CRAFT: The Mind of The Reader
How To Draft Your Script So a Reader Has The Emotional Experience of Watching Your Film
by Jessica Hinds
Logic is a wonderful tool that we humans sometimes choose to use, but Logic and Truth are two different things. When we confuse logic with truth....well...no bueno.
For example, I am a tall, lanky woman. Logic might lead you to think I do yoga and live a vegan lifestyle. Snooze. The truth is, I hate yoga and I eat meat almost every day, in fact, I grew up a bow hunter. Growing up, I rarely did anything "girly" like yoga because my stepfather wanted a son.
Logic often leads you to stereotype and cliche. Seeking out the truth leads to novelty and, most important, story.
I will write more about this in the fall but right now I just want you to practice differentiating between using logic (to build one possible option) vs seeking out truth (to discover the story.)
Remember, we are not logical or rational beings automatically. Logic and reason are tools we are capable of using but our nature is rooted in the emotional. So if you are writing a screenplay, focusing on the logic or the reason of the plot and the character will not lead you to the Truth the way that following the emotional journey will.
Stay tuned for more on the neuroscience behind human (and therefore character) behavior and how it can help you in your life and your characters in their story.
The Crass Shaman
Waiting is what boring people do while smart people are learning.
Increase Creativity While Decreasing Douchiness!
The Creativity Shaman
Written by a dyslexic, proof read by an apathetic foreigner.
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The Science & Art of Writing was founded by award winning writer & certified yoga instructor Jessica Hinds.